Epstein Class™

Case No. EC-99-∞
Filed in the Court of Public Opinion

Unsealed — For Public Release

Not leftvs. right.Top vs.bottom.

There is a class the rules do not apply to. You are not in it. Neither are we. For the first time in thirty years, everyone — left, right, and logged-off — agrees on that.

Review the ExhibitsRead the File
Scroll to review ↓6 exhibits entered into evidence

In the Court of Public Opinion

THE PEOPLE,
Plaintiffs,
v.
THE EPSTEIN CLASS,
Defendants.

Case No. EC-99-∞ — Complaint

  1. 1.

    There exists, above the visible economy and beneath the public record, a small class of persons for whom the rules are ornamental. They are audited by no one, indicted rarely, and sentenced approximately never.

  2. 2.

    Membership in this class is not partisan. It donates to both parties, attends the same weekends, and flies the same jets. The seating chart is the only bipartisan document in America.

  3. 3.

    Plaintiffs — being everyone else — have spent thirty years arguing with each other, at the Defendants’ suggestion, about everything except the Defendants.

  4. 4.

    WHEREFORE, Plaintiffs respectfully demand: sunlight, receipts, the complete list, and a really good t-shirt to wear while waiting.

Respectfully submitted,

/s/ The Other 99%

pro se, obviously

Filed

Section 02 — Findings of Fact

Finding No. 01

One class flew above the law.

Finding No. 02

Your division was the product.

Finding No. 03

The island was not a metaphor.

Finding No. 04

For once, all of us agree.

Section 03 — Physical Evidence

The Exhibits.

NOT LEFT VS. RIGHT.TOPVS.BOTTOM.THE ONLY FIGHT THAT WAS EVER REAL
Exhibit A$38

TOP VS. BOTTOM — Heavyweight Tee

S — 2XLOpen exhibit →
THE RULESARE FORyou.— THE EPSTEIN CLASS, PRESUMABLY
Exhibit B$38

THE RULES ARE FOR YOU — Tee

S — 2XLOpen exhibit →
EPSTEIN CLASS™NAMES WITHHELD PENDING RELEASE
Exhibit C$68

[REDACTED] — Heavyweight Hoodie

S — 2XLOpen exhibit →
NOT ONTHE LISTand proud of it
Exhibit D$32

NOT ON THE LIST — Dad Hat

One sizeOpen exhibit →
FLIGHT MANIFESTTAIL NO. ████ — DEP: TETERBOROPAX 011APAX 021BPAX 031CPAX 041DPAX 051EPAX 061FPAX 07 — YOU — DENIED BOARDING
Exhibit E$44

FLIGHT MANIFEST — Long Sleeve

S — 2XLOpen exhibit →
UNSEALEDCOURT OFPUBLIC OPINION★TOP VS.BOTTOM.the 99%
Exhibit F$12

EVIDENCE — Sticker Pack of 5

One sizeOpen exhibit →

Section 04 — Photographic Evidence

Seen in the wild.

SUBJECT WEARING EXHIBIT A — COURTHOUSE STEPS, TIME UNKNOWNPHOTO EXHIBIT 04-A
SUBJECT WEARING EXHIBIT A — COURTHOUSE STEPS, TIME UNKNOWN
SUBJECT WEARING EXHIBIT C — LOCATION WITHHELDPHOTO EXHIBIT 04-B
SUBJECT WEARING EXHIBIT C — LOCATION WITHHELD
EXHIBIT B AS RECOVERED — INTAKE TABLEPHOTO EXHIBIT 04-C
EXHIBIT B AS RECOVERED — INTAKE TABLE
THE FILE — UNSEALED FOR PUBLIC RELEASEPHOTO EXHIBIT 04-D
THE FILE — UNSEALED FOR PUBLIC RELEASE

Section 05 — Witness Testimony

Sworn statements.

Depositions taken in the Court of Public Opinion. Witnesses appear voluntarily. Tap a witness to hear their statement.

STREET DEPOSITION — REGISTERED REPUBLICAN

“Nobody I know is fighting about left versus right anymore.”

STUDIO DEPOSITION — REGISTERED DEMOCRAT

“I looked up. The rules are for us — never for them.”

HOME DEPOSITION — SEEN EVERY ADMINISTRATION SINCE NIXON

“The list is real. And none of us are on it. Good.”

Depositions are dramatizations. The sentiment is not.