Procedure — Answers on the record
Frequently Filed Motions
Shipping, returns, sizing, payment. Everything below is binding on us and painless for you. Anything we missed: record@epsteinclass.shop.
Motion 01
When does my order ship?
Every exhibit is printed on demand in the USA — nothing sits in a warehouse. Production takes 2–5 business days, shipping another 3–5. Call it 5–10 business days door to door. You'll get a confirmation email at filing and a tracking number the moment it leaves the print floor.
Motion 02
Do you ship outside the United States?
Not yet. Checkout currently accepts US addresses only. International intake is on the docket — join the class (email list) and you'll be notified when your jurisdiction opens.
Motion 03
What's your return policy?
If your order arrives defective, damaged, misprinted, or just plain wrong, email a photo to record@epsteinclass.shop within 30 days of delivery and we'll reprint it or refund it in full — your choice, no forms, no restocking theater. Because every item is printed to order, we can't take back correctly-made items for change of mind or size — so measure twice, file once (size chart below).
Motion 04
How do the sizes run?
The heavyweight tees are an oversized, drop-shoulder cut on 6.5 oz garment-dyed cotton — they run roomy. If you're between sizes or want a standard fit, size down. Hoodies and crewnecks are heavyweight fleece with a true-to-size unisex fit. Hats and beanies are one-size adjustable.
Motion 05
What payment do you take?
All major cards, processed by Stripe on Stripe's own secure checkout. Your card number never touches our servers. We don't store payment details, and we don't sell your data — see the Privacy filing.
Motion 06
Does any of this money go to a good cause?
Yes — it's stipulated. A portion of our profits is donated to organizations that support survivors of trafficking and sexual abuse. We publish completed donations after they're made rather than promising percentages up front.
Motion 07
What is the Epstein Class?
It's not a person — it's a class. The Epstein Class is the social tier the rules don't apply to: private jets, public bailouts, sealed files, zero convictions. This store is protest apparel and political commentary about that class — not left vs. right, top vs. bottom. It names no private living individual and is affiliated with no one on any manifest. Obviously.
Motion 08
Is this a real class action lawsuit?
No. CLASS ACTION™ is a clothing house and EPSTEIN CLASS is Case No. 001 — satire, filed in the court of public opinion. No attorneys were harmed. If you want the real thing, we salute you; our filings are limited to heavyweight cotton.
Exhibit — Measurements
Heavyweight tee size chart
| Size | Chest (flat, in) | Length (in) |
|---|---|---|
| S | 20 | 28 |
| M | 22 | 29 |
| L | 24 | 30 |
| XL | 26 | 31 |
| 2XL | 28 | 32.5 |
Measured flat, ±1". Oversized drop-shoulder cut — size down for a standard fit.